The WWW effect ….

Now you might think I’m going to talk about kayak fishing resources on the internet here but I’m not. The ‘WWW’ effect to me are the three things that generally stop me fishing…… Work, Wife and Weather – and usually in that order but beware because if one of the ‘W’s doesn’t get you, you can be near as damned sure that one of the others will do their level best to scupper even your best laid of plans.

I’m not trying to stay in the good books here, well, maybe just a little, but the lesser of the three evil ‘W’s when it comes to my fishing time is the ‘Wife’. She’s a good sort and in the majority of cases I think she’s quite happy for me to disappear down the road with fishing and kayak kit almost falling out of the car. The problem is usually when the other two W’s are looking favourable and I have a plan hatched for the upcoming weekend and she mutters those fateful words …… “You have remembered we’re going up to my parents this weekend? It’s on the calendar.”…… Of course I hadn’t, I’m a man, how the hell was I to know or remember to look at the calendar when all I had been so focused on was fishing venue, what the tides were doing, what bait to use and the other two W’s?! It’s frustrating when this happens and sometimes you just have to take it on the chin, plus as I see it, there is a flip side that can be advantageous…… let me explain. The good thing about the ‘Wife’ is that of the the three W’s it’s the only one I find you can at least score some decent Brownie points with for future fishing expeditions. ‘Work’ is less flexible and with the ‘Weather’ you’re in the lap of the Gods or should I say the dodgy weather forecasters – more of them later. The key is to keep yourself in good credit with the ‘Wife’ by entertaining some of her plans, keeping ahead of jobs around the house and generally keeping her sweet. It’s no use lying to yourselves lads, even the most brazen of you yak fishers out there has to tow the line at some point in the proceedings. So, yes, the ‘Wife’ can be a hindrance but played correctly this is usually the easiest, and most likely, the only one you can manipulate!

This brings me to ‘Work’. I am employed on the typical nine to five treadmill that a lot of us find ourselves and I accept that ‘needs must’…… after all it pays for all the kit, bait, etc. I can shrug this off and even accept it when I’m sat in a mind numbingly dull project meeting about moving a couple of equally dull databases from one location to another that ‘Work’ is a necessity. It’s the little things with ‘Work’ that drive me mad – when things come off the rails and once again shoot my plans in the foot. A classic for me is ‘out of hours’ work and being in the exciting world of IT believe me it happens. Picture the scene…… it’s Tuesday evening, the ‘Weather’ forecast for Wednesday evening is set fair, the ‘Wife’ is sweet, so you get all your kit ready so the minute you get home after ‘Work’ on the Wednesday you can scoff your tea down, fuss the dog, kiss the ‘Wife’ and your out the door again. You go to work Wednesday, keep your head down all day and then half an hour before you’re due to leave it happens…… the phone rings and it’s your boss…

“Andy, the clients have found a problem in the XYZ database, can you have a look at it? Oh, it’s a showstopper and can you make sure it’s when all the users are out? They should all be out of the system by 6 o’clock this evening”

…… I never know whether to scream, laugh or cry. What can I do? It’s a necessary evil is this ‘W’ and I need my job to pay for my fishing in addition to other not so important things like a mortgage, food and bills. I find it so maddening and this is just an example of the many ‘Work’ related matters that frustrate the hell out of me. Each and every one of them has the affect of making me late or putting a sledgehammer through my meticulously laid plans.

Finally, we come to the ‘Weather’ and maybe more specifically it should be ‘Weather’ forecasters. The ‘Weather’ is the one thing you don’t have even the slightest influence over and can only plan for based on the information put out there by these so called ‘Weather’ forecasters whether it be on TV, radio or, more likely these days, internet weather channels. Particularly for kayak fishing the wind is all important – both the direction and the speed. Rain and cold you can cope with but the wind is the key. So, why is the ‘Weather’ so frustrating? I’ll tell you why…… again, picture the scene – there have been no murmurings from the ‘Wife’, you’ve escaped from ‘Work’ unscathed and the ‘Weather’ forecast when you checked an hour ago was perfectly do-able. The sun is out, you load your kit on and in the car, say your farewells, drive to your chosen venue, walk down to the shore…… and the sea is cresting with white horses with a nice swell to boot. What happened to the predicted 3 to 5 mph winds Mister ‘Weather’ Forecasterman – tell me that eh!? In my eyes it’s not a forecast at all it’s simply a ‘best guess’ a lot of the time but I suppose the job title of ‘Weather’ guesser doesn’t fit the bill even if it is a more accurate description! It’s not all the forecaster/guessers fault though. Sometimes when you get a combination of ‘Work’ and ‘Weather’ that can really leave you in shreds and it happens…… you’ve been hard at ‘Work’ all week and the ‘Weather’ has been a dream for kayaking, open the curtains Saturday morning and it’s blowing a hoolie with lashings of rain for extra measure to rub salt into your already smarting wound. You can feel almost fated with bad luck at times.

So there you have it – the three W’s that a majority of the time prevent me from getting out there on the yak and fishing. Whether it’s one of them or a subtle combination of two or all three of them believe you me they’re all out there to wreck your plans! Speaking of which I’d better get back to one of the W’s now…… ‘Work’…  and yes, the ‘Weather’ is perfect outside!

Until next time folks……